Mr Paul Conroy Gets On His Soap Box…
You can now get a mulled wine airwick plug in! What the fuck is that all about, but dangerously tempting to rip it off the wall and drink as you crawl across the landing on the way to bed after a night on the piss.
Dear Deirdre, I am about 3 years into my relationship now and have started having erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different Idea’s about how to treat the problem. She bought me some Viagra, I bought the fat cunt a treadmill.
Who the fuck said Tiger Woods could fucking drive?
Cheryl Cole fans, don’t waist money on buying her irritating record, Just tune into Heart FM and you can hear it every fucking hour of the bastard day.
New pictures show Marilyn Monroe smoking dope. What we haven’t seen yet is the unreleased footage of her down the BP Garage trying to buy Jaffa Cakes, crisps, Hob Nobs, a family bag of Malteasers and a lighter.
If you are worried you have stained your teeth after drinking a bottle of red wine before going to bed this Christmas, drink a bottle of white to remove the stains. Works a fucking treat.
‘The fog on the Tyne is all mine all mine, the fog on the Tyne is all mine’ – Cheryl Cole 2009.
Health & Safety executives have declared bowling alleys a ‘very dangerous environment for families’ . Fucking morons, mind you, if you’ve ever been down my local Bowlplex on a Saturday night you’re gonna need to carry some pepper spray just to go and have a piss.
Oh by the way, just to let you know the 14:10 to Reading, then London Paddington is going to be 25 minutes late due to a shopping trolly on the line at Didcot.
An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, and Welshman on a Rape identification parade, the woman walks in and the Irishman steps forward and says “That’s Her”
‘You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you. Don’t you want me baby, don’t you want me oh oh’ – Tiger Woods 2009
Girls stop moaning how it’s unfair that if a guy shags a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl shags just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. Just remember if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key, but if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock.