Dear Diary,
I used to think diaries were for wimps. Girls had diaries. Guys had journals. And as we all know, journals suck. Luckily, once I learned that DMC wanted me for the 2009 DMC UK Tour, my man confidence surged to an all-time high. I bought a pink shirt, discussed my feelings with my girlfriend, and sold my truck. I also started this diary.
So, let me share with you my deepest, most private feelings about my recent trip to Plymouth. If you play your cards right, I might even let you know who I like.
● Virgin Atlantic makes all their flight attendants dress like it’s the 1950s.
● My very sick customs officer (swine flu?) was very confused about the nature of my visit. “How long will you be in the UK? 1 day?! Where are you going? Plymouth?! Why? DM-what?! DMC? D-J Battle?!?! What? How does that even work? Doesn’t that damage the records!?!?”
● Highway rest areas in England are really, really nice. On one stop we went to a gourmet coffee place, another a fancy supermarket. In contrast, American rest stops are pretty much made of pee.
● Once in Plymouth, we ate dinner at a restaurant that advertised “Licensed Pizzaghetti.” Cutmaster Swift ordered a Large Coke, and then demanded a Lemonade.
● Inja has super duper über dubstep music. I think his style of music should be called düberstep. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sigh.
● I was impressed with the level of talent in the competition, especially for a regional. It seemed like all the competitors put in a great deal of “hustle.” People had sets pressed up on custom vinyl, dudes were busting esoteric cuts, and I think I even heard an f-bomb or two. F@#k yeah! People who stood out to me were: Scratch4Cash (sick cuts), MadBeats (solid overall set, a close contender for 3rd place on my scorecard), Pandaemonium (funky set, all original records, he had needle problems, but he rocked a cardigan during prelims. Hot damn! Style points!), X-Rated (dope overall set, almost pulled out the win with some cool push juggle patterns), and Rasp (pretty flawless, sealed the deal with his Testarossa Overdrive routine at the end).
● For the showcase, Switch and I starting by “battling” each other. Apparently some in the crowd didn’t realize this was a fake battle, and complained to the two of us after that we didn’t win. The battle itself, USA VS. UK, was very enjoyable, and the crowd gave love for every round. Highlights include Switch dropping the 100% adored James Brown routine, and me getting the crowd riled up with some disses relating to my genitalia. Post-battle, Inja shouted “make some noise if you liked the USA!” which received polite applause. Then he dropped the bomb. “Make some noise if you liked the UK!” (screams, cheers, brassieres, marriage proposals, etc.)
● Switch’s mix showcase was crazy. His “Swing Set” routine is probably one of the dopest mix routines I’ve ever seen. It was epic. It felt like a 10 minute journey through every aspect of DJing. Double nanopad hot-cueing for the ultra win. I’m going to film this in Manchester, and only share it with people who read my diary.
● Cutmaster Swift pulled some rewind selector drum and bass steelo that sent the crowd into a frenzy.
● Best moment of the trip: After a night of heavy drinking, Switch and I found a McDonalds at 6am. I ate 2 DOUBLE Sausage EGG McMuffins.
● Worst moment of the trip: Eating 2 DOUBLE Sausage EGG McMuffins at 6am after a night of heavy drinking.
ALL THE BEST!
Shiftee
