DJ Superstar Paul Conroy Has Got A Thing Or Two To Say This Week…
An Investigation by the Sun newspaper says it reveals the ‘shocking truth about binge drinking’ among young women in the UK after visiting several town and city centres on Friday and Saturday nights. They say, in all of the places they visited they found young girls so drunk they could hardly stand. What I would like to know is where these fucking places are because that to me sounds like fucking heaven.
Michael Jackson fans have launched a campaign to boycott the ‘This Is It’ movie. What the fuck for? Surely if you are a fan of the late Michael Jackson this movie would be a little bit intriguing, but I have seen a sneak preview and on reflection they could be a bit more honest with the fans and possibly rename it ‘This Is Shit’.
More than 100 divers took part in Britains largest yellow car gathering in Brockenhurst, Hants – and you thought your weekend was fucking boring?
Muscle bound Giuliano Stroe has become a big hit on the internet displaying incredible feats of strength and a ripped torso. The only thing is, he’s fucking 5 years old! Now thats weird, especially when his dad says his son has been going to the gym since he was born. Why would you take a fucking baby weight training? When this toddler was born did his parents agree with the midwife and nurses that he was tubby and slightly out of shape and therefore sign him up there and then for a year’s gym membership? What next a fucking workout DVD for babies, ‘Drop A Nappy Size In Just Two Weeks’?
The owners of a recently opened nudist B&B in Stoke say their Swedish massage and hot tub offer is going down a treat with guests. I bet it fucking is, also I bet there are some extras thrown in including a car keys in the ashtray game and a choice of Romanian girls at £40 a fuck.
I would have rather cleaned the cat litter tray out with my tongue that watch the ‘live’ Derby Vs QPR game on Saturday. Fuck me what a dull game that was. Bit of advice to Derby, when you pass the ball, try passing it to players in your own team and not the opposition.
‘Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree,
It’s been three long years do you still want me?
If I don’t see a ribbon round the old oak tree,
I’ll stay on the bus forget about us put the blame on me,
If I don’t see a ribbon round the old oak tree’.
Nelson Mandella 1990
‘Question Time’ got an audience of eight million last Thursday and all because Nick Griffin made his first appearance on national telly. If the man can pull in an audience that big as a guest, just imagine what he could do for the ratings if they gave him his own show at Christmas. I can see the BBC and ITV fighting for him and giving him his own bloopers show calling ‘It Will Be All White On The Night’.
Motorway Services who dubbed Britain’s worst as Bolton West on the M61 is to get a makeover. I wonder how that is going to look with new hair, makeup, clothes and shoes? Ten years younger and a fucking sexy I bet.
British architects have designed the worlds first revolving hotel to give every room a sea view. The three story hotel containing 50 rooms spins slowly on a giant steel turntable, a bit like a giant SL1210 with a round building on it. Firstly, in just about every hotel I’ve ever stayed in, when I go to bed the room is nearly always fucking spinning anyway. Secondly, Imagine the fucking confusion – ‘I’m just popping out to get something from the car’.You turn around to come back in only to find the front door you have just walked out of is now on the beach and by the time you’ve walked round to find it, it’s back in the fucking car park.
George Michael is to make an appearance on X Factor. After the fucking states Robbie Williams and Whitney Houston looked in during their recent performances, he might as well go the whole hog and drive his Chelsea tractor on stage with a spliff hanging out his gob and fall asleep at the wheel for three minutes.
Dan Prince get’s it off his chest…
This week’s stupid poll. 5000 dickheads in the States were asked who they would want as their best friend. David Beckham just pipped Barack Obama. Could you imagine sitting in a pub listening to your best mate sounding like he’d been on Helium balloons all night?
Is it wrong to have had a wet dream about Simon Cowell?
Cops over in Hungary are now fining girls who flash their boobs on YouTube. Fine them? Put them in prison. What an ugly nation.
Bull fighting. What is the fucking point of that. Running around a big sand pit with a red towel with 600kg of cattle chasing around after you with horns like spears? Listen you silly Spaniards. Get your arses over to Ibiza and rave it up.
Stephen Fry, never liked the guy. Interesting though to hear about him revealing how jealous Silverback gorillas on a trip to New Zealand and Brazil inspired him to lose five stones in weight dieting after they kept looking at his man boobs with envy. What a weirdo. Belgium, have him back.
Boy George, welcome back sunshine.
Shane Richie. I bet he’s looking forward to appearing in Panto this Christmas with TV Advertising dog Churchill. Oh yes? Oh no.
Two million Britons own jeans they bought more than 40 years ago it has been revealed. I didn’t know Wales had two million people living there.
Love the story about the crooks smuggling £1m of cocaine into Sydney airport on a food trolley. Flights will never be the same again for me.
Feel sorry about the news that Jordan’s request to visit the troops in Afghanistan has been turned down by the military because they suspect they think she is only doing for a publicity stunt. Oh Katie, all that cock you’ve missed out on.
I love a bit of foreplay, who doesn’t. But the women in Mansfield who has just got jailed for 18 months after biting her love rival’s nose and then her husband’s nob, well really…
I do worry about how the rest of the world perceive us Brits. The lass from Hereford who managed to sell a heart shaped potato on eBay for £72 last week. Get a fucking life.
That prick who is boasting about getting his driving licence with no lessons, just purely down to joyriding. Your parents must be so proud Ajmal.
Cheryl Cole number one in the charts? Biggest pile of shit I’ve heard all year. And I fancy her.
