Paul Conroy – He Da Bad Boy
Electro synthesis in organic chemistry is the synthesis of chemical compounds in a electrochemical cell. The main advantage of electro synthesis over an ordinary eredox reaction is avoidance of the potential wasteful other half-reaction and the ability to precisely tune the required potential. Electro synthesis is actively studied as a science and also has many industrial applications… and if you are still reading this and haven’t moved on to the next paragraph you need to sort your boring fucking life out.
Got stopped by the Police on the way home from a club about 3 in the morning and was asked where was I going. I told them I was going to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol on the human body and how it affects the people around you. They said who is going to give me a lecture at that time of night? I said ‘The fucking girlfriend’.
Tea leaf Phillip Schofield has admitted stealing props from his west end shows. He admitted he nicked stuff including Joseph’s Technicolor dreamcoat and Doctor Dolittle’s hat. When asked what was the biggest thing he has ever pinched? He said Fern Britton’s arse. It was a bit like trying to stick a peg on a hot air balloon.
I took my goldfish to the Vets on Monday. I told the Vet the fish had epilepsy. The Vet said ‘it looks calm enough to me’ I said ‘I haven’t taken it out the fucking bowl yet’
Thank god that miserable faced bastard is leaving BBC’s The One show. I would rather watch a potato in a microwave oven than that boring twat on my fucking telly.
It’s a fucking unfair world out there. When a man talks dirty to a woman it’s sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man it’s £1.50 a minute some networks may vary.
43 year old Margaret Thompson bought a £600 bed and ended up marrying the salesman Mike McGregor in Ely, Cardiff. What a fucking whore.
I gave my next door neighbor an orgasm for the first time yesterday. Ungrateful bitch spat it out.
Simon Cowbell was voted the man most women ‘shouldn’t but would’ want to spend the night with. Half the women surveyed said it was power that made him desirable. Steven Hawking came second in the survey and Orville the duck and Pete Tong came joint third.
Got in a taxi in London on Saturday, just before my stop I tapped the driver on the shoulder, he screamed, swerved, we nearly hit a bus and stop inches from a shop window. I said ‘Fuck me you’re jumpy aren’t you? I only tapped you on the shoulder’. ‘Sorry mate’ he said ‘It’s my first day. I’ve been driving a fucking Hearse for the last 20 years’.
Strictly Come Dancing and Hollyoaks star Ricky Whittle faces trial at Liverpool in August after he denied dangerous driving. Looking at yourself in the rear view mirror whilst wanking at 60mph on a duel carrageway with the roof down is in the courts eyes fucking dangerous.
The girlfriend sent me a shopping list by text and told me to go and buy her something that made her look sexy. I came back with 2 litres of vodka and a case of Stella.
Dan Prince rocks up…
The first pill to prevent premature ejaculation launched in the UK this week. Sorry people, E’s have been around for donkey’s. But fair play, you won’t be shooting your load after necking one of them, you won’t even get a hard on.
A groom has died on his stag do weeks before he was due to wed. I hate bad journalism. That should have read ‘A groom has committed suicide weeks before he was due to wed.’
See a new really important poll has revealed 1 in 8 baby names will start with the letter A in Birmingham this year. So expect names like Aar Kid Bob, Aar Kid Shirley, Aar Kid Ken etc etc.
A house that follows the sun all day with it’s top floor rotating 30 degrees every hour has been created in Spain and the manufacturers want to come over to the UK to try and sell it. Lads, save your fucking money.
London is the 4th worst city in congestion in Europe a survey tells us this week, Brussels is the worst. What a fucking surprise. It is officially the Most Boring City In The World – worst than Coventry.
“No dog can ever play a guitar and never will” said Piers Morgan on Britain’s Got Talent. Oh come on Morgan, The Bangles were great.
Why does Wayne Rooney always look like he is going to a funeral when he goes out clubbing. Is it because all of these flash places have loads of mirrors and it just get’s him really depressed?
Amy Winehouse was back in hospital last night after falling over pissed and landed on her new false knockers. You’d have thought her nose would have broken the fall.
Story in the local paper about a man this week who tried to claim benefit for 554 children. I really need to get change for that condom machine.
Parents claim that their children are worst behaved when they are 14. Not in my bedroom pal, not in my bedroom.
Poor old footballer Joe Cole is refusing to sign a new contract with Chelsea as they are only offering him a rise to £85,000 a week instead of the £100,000 he wants. Mate. You are past your best. A midget. Talks like a mouse. And apparently has a very small cock.
