What’s The Best Night Out You’ve Ever Had?
I can’t really go into too much detail but it involved a few quid and a large white transit van a couple of weeks ago in Kent.
What’s Your Favourite Club?
I haven’t had one in a while – do they still make them? My favourite ones were the blackcurrant ones.
What’s Your Favourite Record Of All-time?
I don’t really follow them so much anymore. Not since Roy Castle and Norris Mc Whirter passed.
What Record Can’t You Stand?
Most elephants you can fit into a mini. So cruel!
What Record Did You Lose Your Virginity Too?
Quickest ejaculation 1984 Yorkshire Regional Champion.
What Was The Last Record You Bought?
Surely that’s illegal?
Name Three Of Your Biggest Influences…..
My family, my friends and my penis.
Who Would Play You In ‘Dave Seaman’ The Movie’
Robert Downney Jr
What’s Your Dream?
My latest one was a cracker. I was living in David Blaine’s box watching two whales and an armadillo race down the Thames but having problems with the view cos Danny Tenaglia and Dale WInton were cleaning the windows. Then there was a knock at the door and Anne Savage, Silvio Berlesconi and three nurses dressed as ostriches gave me three hundred thousand pounds in cash but I lost it. Honest! Then Kelvin Andrews dropped in by parachute and shouted “I’ve got Dave Beer’s semen but what he meant was Dave Seaman’s beer! Oh how we all laughed.
How Do You Escape?
Filling in these questionanaires.
What Is Your Favourite Possession?
My life comes pretty high – I love it like a man posessed.
What Is Your Life Philosophy?
Go with your heart not your head. Thinking is overated.
What’s In Your Pockets?
Sixty seven pounds, fifty three pence, a spare dummy and a bit of fluff.
If You Were An Animal, What Animal and Why?
I’ll go for a rabbit. Then my missus could be Jessica and I also quite like the coat, carrots and the idea of non stop sex.
You Are Having A Party, Whom Dead Or Alive Is On The Guest List?
President David Palmer, The Gorillaz, Max and Paddy, Bill Hicks, Chantelle and Preston, Vivien and Tim Westwood, Reese Witherspoon, Barbara Ellen, Scarlet Johannsen, Richard and Judy, Timmy Mallet and Roland Rat, Tessa Jowell, Dickie Davis, Barry Manilow, Ashley Cole and Jermaine Penant, Kate Moss, Sadie Frost and Davinia Taylor, Kanye West’s dancers, Mr Motivator, Jack Bauer, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Jack Nicholson, Johnny Cash, Jon Stewart, Comedy Dave, Ghandi, Einstein, Fiona Apple, Heidi Klum, Freddy Flintoff, Barney Rubble, Evil Knievel, Eddie ‘The Eagle” Edwards and the guy that works down the chip shop who swears he’s Elvis…. How many am I allowed?
When Was The Last Time You Embarrassed Yourself?
Answering the last question.
Tell Us Something That We Don’t Know About Dave Seaman.
My left foot is half a size smaller than my right.
‘Renaissance Masters: Dave Seaman’ Double CD, out now.
