Dan Prince Walks Out Of His Job At Burger King And Decides To Get A Few Things Off His Chest. Right, let’s get going…
How fucking annoying is getting e mails asking you to be invited to Facebook sites. I would rather join a building site.
Scouts. Cunts right?
Is it wrong that I am sitting here in full view of the college over the road wearing nothing but Speedos and a swimming cap?
John Terry’s wife has got a pair on hasn’t she?
Is it me, but is Simon Cowell getting sexier?
Headline : ‘One in 4 women over 35 don’t have sex anymore’. That’s because you are too ugly and fat love – and your partner wants to be down the pub. Wanking in the loo with a copy of Razzle.
Pamella Anderson, are they real?
I love the British Care Home System. It just goes to show how shit our Government are. A live, 1941 hand grenade was found in an 81 year old war veteran’s bedroom at the weekend in a care room. Makes you sleep safe at night, well it does in my room 208.
Lady Ga Ga. Well done for the Brits love, shit surname though.
Cheryl Cole. Wouldn’t touch her with my dad’s softy.
Here Goes Conroy…
A biker who broke his back has made a miraculous recovery after surgeons used a balloon to repair it. We are all aware the NHS have been making cutbacks, but what on earth gave them that Idea, did some surgeon come running in with a balloon from the children’s ward saying ‘mind out the fucking way, saw this one on Blue Peter a while back?’.
Out in the shops in time for Easter is the John Terrys Chocolate Orange Cock… a treat for the lady in your life on Easter Sunday.
More than 3,000 dinosaur footprints made 100 million years ago have been uncovered in China. I was never aware Status Quo did a concert over there?
A schoolboy has been nicknamed ‘pothole kid’ after campaigning to rid his street of them. Andrew Warner aged 11 lobbied his council after he counted 45 mini craters in his road. He measured them all, then went door to door collecting signatures for a petition. His complaint is being investigated, councillor Paul Gode called him an ‘impressive young man’…sounds like he could do with a good fucking kicking to me.
An angler survived after he was savaged by a six foot shark as he tried to free from his line in Florida. Unless you’re the Chuckle Brothers, how the fuck can you get yourself in that sort of pickle during a pleasant afternoons fishing?
John Terry’s wife is looking fucking hot.
Gordon Brown is apparently eating up to 9 bananas a day to try and get over his Kit Kat and fizzy drink obsession…and this fat fucker who has a face that looks like it was drawn on a ball sack is running the fucking country. If he carries on with his stupid banana eating he could end up with a tyre swing in his garden and be the new face of PG Tips.
Jedward feat. Vanilla Ice ‘Under Pressure (Ice ice baby)’ goes straight in the UK singles chart at number two on Sunday. Now that is just funny in itself.
Wedding guest Igor Rastovic had his cock shot off by another guest aiming at an apple for ‘good luck’ at the reception in Otanj, Serbia. Imagine how fucked up that party was? ‘Good day yesterday?’ ‘All a bit of a blur really, but I do remember at some seeing some guy shooting someone’s cock off with a fucking gun thinking it was an apple’
Scientists have discovered that many women develop ‘Hoovers Disease’ after a year of marriage. They make a continuous whining noise and don’t suck anymore.
