Manumission’s ‘Baby Pin Up’ star with her acrobatic show in Ibiza. A delectable blend from a ballerina and sex kitten who in the true tradition of Manumission stylee has been shocking the white isle this summer with her ‘intimate body part’ displays. Well really! Whatever happened to a bongo player and a guy shaking a tambourine on stage?
The ‘Learner Dancer Party’ last week at Punk in London.
DJ sets from the Dirty Pretty Things, Babyshambles and Hadouken… so that’s why I was picked up by the police on Oxford Street as the sun was coming up for stumbling around like Liam Gallagher. Good gracious those Paddington jail beds are hard and cold.
The new Metalheadz dog tags. Cool ‘enuff bro’s…
Women’s Beach Volleyball – just how much Kleenex can a man go through watching the telly? Oh and whilst we’re on the subject of The Olympics, what’s with the Taeqwando refs all wearing Burton ties, that Cuban guy kicking the crap out of the poor official, the long walking kilometer shit (we can all do that with bells on) and also, American commentators. You naff old sods perving over girls in the pool whilst looking like Steve Martin’s grandad…
Liverpool’s Chibuku ripping up The Notting Hill Carnival. So who let you lot in?!?
SecretSundaze @ The Light, London on September 7th. Last outing at this venue for the t-shirt season with the return of Guido Schneider. So get set for perfect percussion, killer basslines and guaranteed hands reaching skywards alongside ressies Giles Smith and James Priestley. All day shenanigans with the best Sunday nutbags in the game. You can forget about Monday morning at work disco daylight dudes…
The little blonde actress strumpet about to hit our UK TV screens in the new uni sitcom ‘Fresh!’. Er, hello young lady…
Old skool rave nights in south London advertising with crap posters on roadside lamp posts for their tired and boring crack-heads nights. Accompanied with DJs you wouldn’t fork out a quid for at a car boot sale for their mix tapes. Burger King still have vacancy application forms dudes…
Texting people when we are pissed or out of our tree. When will we ever learn? We won’t…
Kaiser Chiefs @ The Forum, London, October 20th/ 21st celebrating the launch of their new ‘Off Their Heads’ album. Hmmm, so thought about a possible midweek messy mash up for all of two seconds – oh let’s ruddy ‘ave it and let’s pull a sicky the next day…
London musicals. The Lion King, Dirty Dancing, Zorro – you make an evening on the sofa with a cup of Bovril watching ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ so appealing.
Mum of five and ex-jailbird singer Rachel Hylton on X-Factor. Go get ’em girl – you have a voice to die for and a story that gets the heart beating so hard…
The Reading Festival. Hey you upstairs – thanks for making us dance in muddy shit up to our waists in the rain. I’ll be bringing that up with you at a later date oh wise one who is still wearing a nightgown.
A random weekend in Germany… Mousse T spinning at nightclub ‘Garden’ in Munich and Rekid’s Radio Slave at ‘The Panorama Bar’ in Berlin. Never thought the Germans had it in ’em and what a couple of top nights – vorsprung durk technic and all that uber duber jazz…
Derrick May and Stacey Pullen rocking the techno down on Gaunt Street at the weekend. Hats off for the music boys – and thanks for a bonking cross eyed hangover.
Lightbulbs getting posted through the door. Oh just stop it before I let the dogs on you…
The’ World Mobile Phone Throwing Championships’ in Estonia. If it wasn’t for the fact that you site “sea mud” as one of your ‘claims to Estonia fame’ you would be getting much more of a right slagging off here and now. Even Scotland beats you with their Caber chucking events. And that is saying something.
Nobheads who keep their festival wristband passes on for weeks after the event. So, yawn – you went to a big party and want to show off that you think you’re cool. Boys and girls…we were doing this stuff when you were in Clarks shoes and nappies. Good luck at uni with your allocated fridge shelves…
Ibiza/Miami/Marbella/Mallorca/Dubai/Mykonos club reunion parties back in the UK after the summer season has ended. Listen. It’s cold. You’ve got a fucking Parka on and you’ve all lost the tan. Have you missed the point here or just trying to cash in on our cash strapped clubbers yet again?
XFM’s Alex Zane. Not funny mate. Seriously.
