Why did you start hosting clubs in the freezing cold in the first place?
“DJ and promoter Tomislav approached me in 1999 whilst raving at Cream and said he wanted a face like mine on the door of his night – Club Class at Atomics in Kent.  My mum made me a fluffy clipboard, I bought myself a massive white Diesel coat and some Buffalo boots and the rest, as they say, is history…”

What clubs did you take care of the entrance for?
Hotdog, Bubblelove, Club Naked (strictly fetish – (took ages to squirm into a rubber suit for that one)  and Fierce (which was my own night) in Nottingham, Dusted and Serious in London, Club Class in Kent, The Lost Weekend, Isis, Media, NG1, The Edge, J21, Egg, The Cross, The Key, Canvas…

Biggest star who rocked past your Jimmy Choos?
Boy George or Howard Donald – depending on your definition of “big” – and they’ll be Westwood’s – never Choos…

Who was the most famous DJ that tried slurping off your lipstick?
The pervy bunch: Guy Ornadel, John Kelly, Corvin Dalek – I have long-since mastered the art of the head swerve and am quite deft at using a clipboard as a shield.

Who was the biggest C-Celeb you knocked back?
Lea, the huge chested porn-style woman who was on Big Brother – reality “stars” are so naff.  Ideally, I would take great pleasure in telling Peaches ‘I-just-got-married Geldof’ to jog the fuck on chum…

Which famous bloke would you like top of your guest list on an excellent night?
Mark Ronson – he looks great, loves a party, would get the Krystal in, can throw a few shapes and, more importantly, can step up to the old wheels of steel…

What bribe would you have accepted to gain entry through the doors?  Money, handbags, shoes – that sort of shit?
24 hours free run on a Black A-Mex, the keys to a Porsche 911 Turbo S or a Lamborghini Gallardo…not handbags – no door whore girl has a handbag babe…