You Did It Again. I have plotted up for a sleep in some strange places that are related to raves and clubs in my time. A ditch under a bus at ‘Creamfields’, a skip at Glastonbury, a portaloo at ‘Get Loaded’ – however, rolling up and spending the night in a camper van with a 22 year old Lithuanian model, a beauty from India, a rich dude who lives next to the Queen’s bedroom at Windsor Castle and a drug dealer from Hackney at Lymington port before ‘Bestival’ – though, I have to admit was a first. Waking up though at 8am after a very late one was as much fun as turning the radio on and hearing Graham Gold playing a Happy Hardcore set in his toilet. Bacon butties, mugs of team and a cheeky bottle of wine and off we went to planet disco. A great way to kick things off, sitting out in the sun with fellow ravers dressed in madness – a great girl dressed as Barbarella, the entire cast of The Planet of The Apes and about 50 ET’s all sitting round getting ready for the best festival on planet earth. Bestival is like no other festival. It’s friendly. It’s fun. You can leave your tent open or leave your car or camper van unlocked. It’s a people’s festival. It’s back to the old days. It really is the bestival festival.
So here we go…Friday’s mission to get completely smashed. Fabio and Grooverider – Fab’s you fucking rocked the shit. DJ Michael Cook – the Manchester star, you did my home city SO SO proud. California and their Acid House beginning owes you everything – as have in the past the DJ sets you have provided for the likes of Gotan Project, Bjork, The Happy Mondays, 808 State, The Orb, The Prodigy and Moby – even playing at Madonna and William Orbit’s birthday parties’. Bet they were quiet ones. MGMT – you rocked. Seen you before, but playing in the sunshine…you were stunning. Massive Attack…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz yawn yawn yawn. The Bollywood area with Justin Robertson, Giles Peterson and Zane Lowe, what a vibe. The Dub Pistols, Lemonade and the 20/20 Sound System – a tip of the hat to you all in the Red Bull Music Academy Mission Transmission. So back to the camper van for a spliff and a can of cider, cosying up on the sofa with Defected Record’s Toni Tambourine wearing little knickers whilst wearing a circus blazer – no one batted an eyelid. Had to hitch a lift back to the site as it was really fucking hot, flagged a car down – yup, turns out we were clambering into the car of the farmer who owned the site. Andy, cheers fella. Showed everyone how to Salsa in The Come Dancing Tent and fell in love yet again with the Hidden Disco, spinning around, move out of my way, I know you’re feeling me ‘cuz you like it like this. And then that sodding walk home that took nearly an hour trying to navigate your way around Pinky & Perky, zombies, cowboys and indians, a pantomime horse, Elvis Presley, Shirley Bassey, three pirates, a clown and a Father Christmas. Then having to climb a ladder to get into bed, off your mush and having to hear Miss Lithuania and boyfriend getting down to it in the next room. Well it perked me up.
Saturday and another incredible sunny day. It is so amazing when British festivals gets the weather. T-Shirts and bikinis on for breakfast (yes I did look weird), smiles around…good vibes getting you excited about the day ahead. This year’s fancy dress theme was all about aliens, astronauts and storm-troopers – time to become a space cadet with a smile on your chops. Organiser Rob Da Bank – your production skills, ideas to twist people’s minds’ and bring freshness to the festival scene are amazing pal. I owe you a pint. So whilst the girls sauntered off through the fields dressed in super shiny silver dresses, us boys all went in Morph Suits in various colours. Have you ever walked a mile dressed in a complete Lycra suit in eighty degrees? So superstar DJ Tom Middleton – you rocked it. Lily Allen – you looked stunning love and sang your pretty heart out. Kraftwerk – boys, are you getting too old for this lark? Making a political statement about doom and destruction and Nuclear Power stations, give us a break boys, all we want to do is get wasted and dance – it’s meant to be a PARTY!!! Loved the sneaky disco in the forest, didn’t love one of my fake books deflating though. Just Jack you were cool as always, Cuban Brothers ditto (especially Kengo and your Hip Hop dancing lessons) and Mika we love. Adored having a massage and a sauna – just to get out of that fucking Morph Suite, the inflatable church and White Wedding posse’s – insane and The Pink Flamingo Cocktail Bar – thanks for the hangover, that was one long, wibbly wobbly walk home.
Sunday, blue face day, just what you need after two days rocking the disco biscuits. Carl Cox’s old skool set remarkable, Mr Da Bank in Bollywood with Derrick Carter, well I chewed my cheeks off. Just simply, a brilliant, brilliant festival. See you next year.
